I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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