Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
