i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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