"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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