Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
