Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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