trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
