I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How external is "for external use only"?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
