JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
