We won't sleep together?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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