I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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