On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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