i just wanna soil my oats bro
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
