I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
