Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
