I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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