It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We're too hungover to prance.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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