I can tuck mytits in my pants
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
operation have a gay friend backfired
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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