fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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