I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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