I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
