she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
