If i come over, it means nothing
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
