i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
