Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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