i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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