One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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