I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
