and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
