Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
