I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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