I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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