Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
