Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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