You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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