Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
