I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
