wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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