I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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