You work out of a Hotel?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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