i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize