Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
