Dual....:-)
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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