I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
