I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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