chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
