i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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