U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
