did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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