Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
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PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
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I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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