i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
this beer tastes like vomit already
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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