giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
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Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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