He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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