I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
