Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
