I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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