she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize