just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
