so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So many bounce houses so little time
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
