so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
