I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
